Tag: humor
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When I Was You
It was something we said to each other as children…our sense of time and place were malleable; we had not yet been indoctrinated into the order of things as dictated by our elders. Put it another way, our outlook was natural and probably closer to the truth than the artificial constructs human society has created.…
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Stupid Career Advice
Or, how to tell if someone is completely full of shit. “Never say it’s not my job.” Great advice if you want to get pimped and punked for the rest of your life. “You make your own luck.” Anyone that says this sucks at math. “Be patient.” We’ll pay you what you deserve when we…
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What You’re Missing
You know what you’re gaining. A little more time at home, time with your family or your dog or your lover. Precious things. But those are all inward facing, insular. You have more time to hang out with your friends, the ones you chose. The ones you’re comfortable with. But those are not the people…
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Thanks A Lot
The cop came into the house without knocking. Not because we were having a wild party, (though he thought we might be). No, he came in because our cars were parked all over the neighborhood, in the snow covered streets blocking residents from getting to their homes. Reasonable enough. The second thing he saw when…
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“I Swear To God I’ll Behave”
My new seat mate raised her hand like scout’s honor. And with that, she plopped down next to me in the first row of First Class. She had just strode onto the airplane, large and in charge and demanded a drink. When she was told we were getting ready to push back and she’d have…
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How To Be A Leader
Lots of people want to be leaders. Just check LinkedIn. Leader leader leader. This can be a difficult job, mostly because to be a leader one must have followers. Face it, without the followers, it would be a walk in the park. But, according to LinkedIn, followers are a mandatory thing. Apparently. Fortunately for you,…
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Mystical Creatures
The bar was as noisy as ever and so we had to shout to be heard over the mayhem. A stale rock song blared over the questionable sound system. The Celtics and Lakers were playing on the TV up over the bar, and there was the usual din of chatter, arguing and whooping that was…
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Hey! Hey!
“What are doing?! Are you looking at your phone? Put that thing away. Oh, you were just, you were just holding up the line that’s what you were doing.” The line attendant shook his head. “People!!!!! you see that sign? That one that says no mobile phone use past this point? It’s there for a…
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The Doctor Is On The Lift
I skied over to the bottom of the lift, timing my speed so that I could ski right past the “wait here” line and up to the loading line without stopping. Done right, you come to a smooth stop right as the chair comes up behind you. It was nighttime; patches of light dotted the…