Body Count

I was sitting in the First Class Lounge watching the carnage at the bar. One by one men, traveling by themselves, approached the blonde at the end of the bar and one by one they went down in flames.

She had her back to me but she’d gotten up a few times so I got a look at her and man was she pretty…just a knockout. She wasn’t wearing a ring, and her and the bartender were getting along just fine so I figured she couldn’t be all that mean.

So I go up to the bartender and I ask him what’s up with the blonde and he gives me a blank stare. So I get out my wallet and slide a twenty across the bar. He looks at me and says “you seen the body count?” I slide another twenty his way. He pockets the bills and says “she’s watching the Red Sox play the Yankees. She’s in here once a month and we talk baseball.” So I ask him “Is she an iceberg?” “No she’s funny, but every one of those meatballs asked her a stupid question when she just wants to watch the ball game.” I thought for a minute then asked him who she was rooting for. “Die hard Red Sox fan. Good luck pal, nice knowing you” he says.

I took the stool next to her and said “Red Sox playing eh?” She doesn’t even look at me. She’s just staring at the TV and just kind of grunts. So I sit there next to her staring at the TV for like two minutes. Finally I say to no one in particular “I hate the fucking Red Sox”. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t even turn my way. She just reached over and put her cigarette out in my drink.

And that, Patti, is how I met your mother.

© Glenn R Keller 2020, All Rights Reserved

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